my pride my life

in the 2nd week of my holiday
been doing lots of thinking lately
had a conversation with her the other day n she asked me wht is my dream???it knocked  my head so hard where i can feel "ouch"
at tht moment only i realize tht i actually have a dream and goal.
nvr been so clear of wht i wan in life b4
only till tht day i realized thti actually noe wht i want
n been denying it all these while cus afraid to achieve it; or shuld i said tht i nvr thought tht i will noe wht i wan???
dunno n confuse
but since now i noe wht i wht next step will be how do i achieve it????
since the day i signed the letter, i always asked myself whtr did i really made the right decision????
so many expectations throw on me
i dun wanna fail those ppl who has faith in me
everytime ppl keep telling me how good and capable i m. is just telling me tht i shuld do better next time
i m not sure me myself pilling up the pressure on myself or thts the reality
i noe i can’t please every1 but at least i wanna do sth which will make ppl proud of.
i hope i can n will gonna work my heart out to achieve tht
is all over again a new chapter of my  life so another whole new world is waiting for me
so new challenges which i will be better prepared than previously

Wow is been 4 month since the  last time i  wrote sth here
can u believe it???my 9 mths stint had end!!!!!!
today is my 1st day holiday
getting a bit laid back and doing nothing
sth which i din do for quite sometime
anyway some catch up
finish my chambering
been offered a place to work
sort of like finish a so-called project
wow!!i actually learned a lot during tis whole 9 mths n njoy every second of it though is always stressed and tired but in the end of the day i actually got to noe myself more
so will holiday for 3 weeks b4 i start another new chapter of my life
yeah baby…..can so call myself a legal associate now
haahahahaah
anyway was quite delighted with the whole process and be able to find sth i like which is great as well
though i noe more work to come and of cus as usual more stress to come
but tis time i noe i can do it cus i have been through a very hectic 9 mths indeed……
till thn will just chill n catch up with stuff tht i haven’t been doing since starting to work
ahahaahahaha
but still more things to come and will anticipate it even more
not really noe how long can i survive here but will try my best b4 decided to go different way
will definitely njoy tis short holiday cus after tis probably will face totally different environment thn again no time to chill…..

New Year New Resolution
This is wht i think
A totaly new beginning
So Resolution……
1)    To be more settled as to wht i wan in life
2)    To be able to achieve wht i wanted to
3)    Live happily and enjoy each and everyday tht i go through
4)    Peace to everyone (Crap…….. hahahaha)

Anyway there still another 3-4 months to go b4 i end this chapter of my life and after tht no more excuses for myself for not achieving whtever expectation from others. Need to be more determine than ever as to wht i wan and to achieve it need more inner strength to make it. Time jus flies, been coutning all these days tht i am going through n i m so surprised tht it will be less than 15 weeks for me to finish it off. So wht’s next?????

Well, i have not decided on it yet but i m thinking hard abt it. Or shuld i say i noe wht i wan but i jus dun wanna go for as to wht mentioned by some1 tht i m jus plain lazy to do anything. It is best for me if i need not to do and think of anything(think every1 wanna have such life but not tht easy). N whnever i m in dead end i will jus avoid it n let it be till miracle happen (which it never happen). So this time makes no different cus i will jus wait and wait till d end and c where fate brings me to n jus follow but oso as according 2 wht i 1 (m i contradicting myself???)

Now wht i need 2 say to myself is patient, patient and more patient. That will help me to go through this remaining weeks (so tht i can assume tht it is sooner). I hope tht very1 things go well for me frm now on n pls no more sickness cus tht means more MC and more replacement!!!!!

Giving myself til March to decided wht i really want n thn will decide my path from thereon.

Wish me luck every1………….and of course Happy New Year

Its been quite sometimes since the last time i jot sth down here, sharing my thoughts here

Anyway i hv been damm busy for the past couples of months and god noes how long will this take?????

Never noe that responsibility is suh a big thing until i enter into a real world.been always complaining about everything since the day i entered into the real world and it will not stop in near future though

Learn to compromise in so many things which i never thought i would, learn to be more patient and also to deal with ppl around me

I jus full with challenges day by day
and it is at 1 point where i really think that i had enough of all these!!!!!

Feel like quitting day by day but i noe i can’t, i jus dun wan to admit that i m a loser jus yet

izit because i dun like wht i m doing that is why i dun think it is worth of all the sacrifice or is just i dun wan to at all?????

so confuse rite now and who can tel me wht future hold for me??????but definitely for sure this is not my path suppose to be because if it is i wun be suffering tht much compare to every1 who are goin through it………

I m jus tired and so wanna have a break from all these…..anyway i m telling myself everyday to be stronger and stronger i go through it is jus a matter of time. i will keep goin towards the end and it is getting near i m already half way through it!!!!is already an achievement rite?????(kind of)

is been the 2nd week after the convo
at last got my scroll n sent the robe back to uni
feels like is was jus yesterday i entered uni n start my new life
time does flies, is been 4 years n nvr thought tht i would survived on it
always thinking of giving up but i jus got through it n here m i now
will nvr forget these past 4 yrs
is been such a wonderful 4 yrs for me
wif my frens n oso d lecturers
though we hv diff opinions sometimes but we still manage 2 pull through it n i hope our frenship will grow stronger
can’t imagine without u guys for my 4 yrs there it would be totally different
is such a miracle u noe, frm stranger to become close fren
i nvr though tht we would be tht close or to say tht to even noe u guys
hmmm…….how would i go n noe ppl frm ipoh n penang???
ahahahah n uni helps me 2 do tht n i nvr regret it
now is all new beginning for all of us
life may be hard now but i noe tht we can make it through so no worries
i hope tht we will still keep in touch as usual
always enjoy u guys company n
btw i really think we should always meet up though i noe we meet up quite a lot currently but jus hope can still maintain it n not jus 4 like 6 mths thn gone
so rmb ya!!!!

its been almost 2 mths i hv started the new journey of my life
its been challenging thus far
luckily there r ppl around me tht give me lots of support n luv!!!!
thks gals nvr forget tht
now i noe its such a hard world outside n it can be so realistic till sometime i feel like do i really suit there???
but i have to cus i hv no choice but 2 join the real world gang
is jus sometimes it made me feel suffocated
its been like a roller-coster n i dun even hv time 2 reflect myself n 2 really think abt wht happened these past 2 mths
wht i noe is tht i learn a lot frm every1 around me
n learn to be more patient in things which i normally would not wanna tolerate
if u ask me wht is d fun part of these 2 mths i would ans ‘nothing’
but at least i m facing the reality which is a big step 4 me since i had been avoiding it always
n i m actually doing fine which is a ‘miracle’ 4 me!!!!!nw i noe d sky is d limit!!!!!hahaahahah
no lah but at least i noe wht i m capable of though it wun b an easy road all along n sometimes do face damm difficult task which i nvr thought i can go through but still does
haahahahah
is jus incredible lah
but m i really enjoying???hmmm…..i dunno
at least i m not dragging myself into it which is a gd sign
i nvr even thought i can still b here after 2 mths i htought after 1 mth i would jus pack n left
ahahahahah
so 25 weeks to go n lets go through it 2gether gals!!!!!

After weeks of thinking n oso trying
finally i have made my decision
i hope tht this decision will b corriect
since my 9 mths will b stuck there n i hope i m not making a wrong decision
i noe a lot of new things will b coming n will start everything all over again
heard frens saying abt it n damm i m so scare 2 face it actually
but i m telling myself everyday tht i can do it
i hv alr faced the toughest 4 yrs of my life n i m sure i can go through this 9 mths just like this (god i hope i noe wht is like this)
lots of anticipation,expectation n oso i dunno jus a lot of things
i think the most important thing is tht i m going to start a new chapter of my life n i think thts human everytime going in2 new things jus by thinking of it makes me hv goosebump i dunno y
n 2day while talking wif a fren she is telling me tht now things r not within our hand n i think its time 2 face it tht sometime things can b jus out of hand n beyond our control which i think will b especially true whn we r in the real world
but anyway i noe we can go through this
we jus need 2 encourage each other cus i think both of us r jumping out frm our comfort zone though reluctant but still need 2 do so
hope tht we can hv a laugh after this while talking abt our anxiousness in the beginning which it is not tht worse afterall
hmmm……
i dunno
i hope i m right in making this decision n will stick wif it (i have to by the way)
n in the end of the day i can be proud of myself tht i hv finally manage to pull it through n again is time for celebration for me
so irene u better do this well n celebration is awaiting for u after this

hmm…..how should i start?????
        1st    i think the bombing in Bali had leaves a big impact toward the ppl over there. The majority ppl over there are survive by the tourism industry. And now the number of tourist visiting there had drop drastically. The tour guide told us that after the bombing he lost his job and was jobless for more than 6 mths!!!!!just imagine what kind of life was tht during tht period and jus recently his life has just turned better. Yet there r still so many suffer from tht incident. After this trip i dun think tht we should only sympathize on thee victim’s family but to all the citizens in Bali. They are just as innocent as the victims. The business till now is still bad!!!!!
        So to all who have not been to Bali i would strongly recommend there as a holiday destination. It just cannot be describe by words how beautiful that place is and also the ppl there. I just like it so much and i tell myself that i will go again if i have such a chance.
    2nd   Although i stayed in Kuta which is a busy place but it is still a safe place. Just imagine us gals walking on the roads without being fear that our bags will be grabbed as compare in KL. If i go again i would stay in another town to experience different type of lifestyle in Bali because Kuta is just busy. But the traffic is bad due to the road is narrow and driving there just requires more skill than i KL but with less honking sound. Not much traffic like in small roads though. But the cab there can just stop at anytime in the middle of the road as they like without even worrying about the cars at the back. They will just wait unless it takes too long.
    3rd  Seeing them using horse as a type of transportation and as tourist attraction was a sorry sight though. Wonder wht the ppl was thinking whn riding on tht cart???? Is just so pity on the horse like working for so long till late nites . I think walking around would be a better idea if is a 1st timer cus there is so much things to be seen and explore (although tiring)
    4th    There r some places where they require donation as to help them to continue their business. The only setback is that they hope ppl will donate more and sort being pushy whn it comes to donation. We’ve experienced that. What i think is that if is that wht they want thn they should have said like the minimum amount need to be paid rather than saying tht it is upon wht you want to give. Then at least we noe wht we should do rather than once after noe the amount thn will start being pushy towards us to pay more.
    5th    Anyway i think tht Bali is just a very cultural place. Ppl there is pray like 3 times a day no matter how busy they are and each home they will also build a family temple. To them the family temple is even more important than their house therefore you can see that the temple might b in front and the house at the back or vice versa. There are just so many temples around but i did not visit those around Kuta area. I did manage to visit one which is surrounded by the lake which is just nice. (Can see it at my photo album)
    6th    Although did hear some interesting stories from some Aussie who i noe during the stay at the Hotel but i do not want to talk about it hear cus i think it will most probably happen o the ‘mat salleh’ and not Asians because we’ve been discussing about it but we did not experienced it.ahahahahaha
    7th    The standard of living there is poor. We saw children just sleeping on the street without even any blanket. Some just stray alone on the street and god noes who their parents are. Children so young have been forced to beg or to sell stuff along the street which is a sad sight. What i heard is that the house there is very expensive especially in Kuta. Therefore a lot of ppl cannot afford to have one not even to rent one. I think that is the reason why some are sleeping on the street. There are mother and the child sleeping together and once hearing ppl walking through will wake up to beg. It is such a sorry sight to see.
        In the end, i did enjoyed the whole trip although is just too short but at least this is the time for me to be with my gals and to be wild together. Learn a lot from this trip and this is the 1st time i am out in a foreign country with just my gals and not parents which make me realize i am an adult already.ahahahahah

 

tis is d 2nd day after coming back frm bali
still cannot believe tht it ended so soon
will b going back again if there is such chance ler
anyway enjoy a lot while staying there
meet couples of ppl n probably every1 is on holiday thts y all r so relax n can make fren easily especially after a couple of drinks
went for dolphin sight seeing,snorkeling,temple n of cus clubing
too bad we went in a bad time where there is still not much ppl at the club
but been drinking like hell
i think tht is d most time i drink
is been drinking everyday n their beer was good hahah(bintang beer)
the food was great n cheap especially at warung makde n oso d seafood dinner
ppl there was nice n i feel more easy cus no language barrier since we can converse in malay
walking around kuta beach was nice d wave is tall n tht is d 1st time i c ppl surfing on d real beach too bad i can’t will probably try it next time though
a lot of happy moments wif d other 4 gals especially ms khor who will nvr stop 2 provide us wif lots of laughter without even trying hard
a very memorable trip indeed for me
bsides as a grad trip but oso as a chance 4 us 2 really gather 2gther cus not sure whn we will hv such a chance going trip 2gehter again ler
njoy the flight n it started frm the departure flight in kl i hv been drinking till d end of the trip
d odd hours of departure time frm bali (3.35am) made all of us exhausted like hell
startt going zzzz…once the plane start 2 flight till reach kl still in blur
can’t believe it tht it has alr end
been anticipating abt it for mths n it jus ended like tht
took lots of nice ic will post up asap
i think i wu said wht i njoy d most cus is d whole trip i hv good time n oso time where i can be wild hahaahah
not really tht wild but wilder than i kl rather haahahahahah
so gals i hope tht u guys too njoy the trip like me n i hope we can go on such trip again in d future
time not sure
but will sure hv more trip after tis ya

is been 2 weeks after the final exam
these 2 weeks i dun hv any purpose
watching all those downloaded series which i missed during the exam
my life now consist of sleep,eat and sleep
not to say tht i dun njoy
i m actually njoying it ler
i need 2 appreciate in now since it wun b long b4 my work start
but now i dun even noe wht i 1
so my plan will b jus apply any firm tht hv various field thn frm there i can find d 1 tht i like
i m not sure whtr wht i wan now is really suit me since most of them r shock as 2 my change of mind in a sudden
but nvm i will jus try n thn i will decide
i think it is normal 2 hv such dilemme at this point of life
afterall i jus 1 the best 4 myself n 2 b able 2 get through this 9 mths b4 starting another chapter of life
i noe i can make it through n mayb can find my interest there n will con’t 2 do wht i wan ler
all i hope is tht i dun wanna hv regret in my life
i wanna explore so many things so this is it
this is the time 2 do so
all i need is support frm ppl tht is close to me
n i noe i hv them rite bside me n help me to go through it
i noe i can do it n i will do it good n leave no regret to myself
will not let down to those ppl tht hv expectation on me
at least i hv a plan n i hope it will work
life will nvr b easy huh?????
yup yup yup is true
life will nvr b easy
n tht’s human
need 2 strive to every inch of it 2 make life better
n i think tht is d purpose of life
to make it better?????
i dunno but i m sure tht
d road is still so far ahead 4 me n so many things r waiting 4 me to explore
so i will jus follow d flow n it will bring me to a totally new world
rite?????
yes it is
wish me luck on my job hunting
n to all happy job hunting oso